from now on my penis is your penis
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
