Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize