I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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