i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
