I cannot find my penis.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
