drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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