Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
