Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
