Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
