Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
