home. puking in laundry basket.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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