Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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