yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
