Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
