I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
