I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
