you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
