Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
