Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
