Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
