she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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