Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
