I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
