i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
