I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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