There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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