It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
