I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
