Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
