to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
