WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
