he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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