Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
