Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
