she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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