So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
