dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
