was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
