let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
