By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
