My liver just broke up with me...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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