I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize