You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
