I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize