the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
