Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
