She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
