Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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