soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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