Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize