Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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