dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
