Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
