as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
