Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
