I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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