I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize