im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
