Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
