a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
