I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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