just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
why do cheetos always look like penises
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
