literally had 100 drinks last night.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
