It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
