I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Randomize
