I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My ass is underappreciated
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
